this book is dedicated to my angel and child Brande Nicole Denson
I would also like to dedicate this to my children, Brande's Sisters and Brothers
Christy Denson Pettiette
Jennifer Denson Black
Myles Ellis Sellers,
Phillip Reece Sellers
I always wrote poetry growing up. I wrote letters and short stories. I dreamed of being a writer and speaking to huge crowds. of what subject I did not know but I knew I would write. It was only after the death of my youngest daughter that I quit working and started living. I still make money, but it is for helping people, not for working. I am currently helping a few girls in an H&R Block tax office because they needed a file clerk, receptionist, coffee maker, floor cleaner, trash handler, etc. I was just sitting at home in a vortex of endless cleaning and laundry when I decided to let go and help someone other than myself. I will only be here until the end of the tax season and then I will help someone else. Who knows I may even finish this book.
I have read a number of books since Brande went to heaven. She now shares her energy with me and so many others in this nation. I am overwhelmed by her presence and her love. She gives me peace and visits me in my dreams. It is truly amazing when you let yourself go and just accept the notion that people really can and do communicate after the release of the body. Now Brande's organs are being used to help other people survive on earth. We have some pretty odd stories about that too. You will find some things quite ironic and sweetened by her touch throughout the book.
This book is not about Brande though. it will refer to her because she has given my life purpose, but the reality of this book is about all of us. What we are, who we are, what we are meant for and why we exist.
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What do you need from the time you are conceived? Help, that's what. You need help from your mom to take care of her body and you from the time you are conceived until you are born and then some. My youngest boys who are now 7 and 9 still think I should do most everything for them. Well, today I made them fix their own lunch. What a mom. I helped them with the bread and removed a few things from the fridge and the cabinets and they did the rest. Now if they have lunch in those bags it will be a great accomplishment and they will have helped someone. Who? why themselves of course. When you help yourself accomplish something you grow stronger and feel better about who you are. We really have to be careful when we help ourselves sometimes, because we also tend to become full of ourselves. It is like something I learned from Dr. Wayne Dyer and the Shift. When we let our ego take over we are Edging God Out of our lives. This is by the way a wonderful book, and movie. I was walking through the den one day and the TV was on QVC which I never watch because it is harmful to women. I heard a man talking about your life changing and you never being the same. I don't know what hit me, I do too. It was God telling me to listen, because otherwise I would have walked right by and exited the room. I listened to him talk for about two minutes and I called to place my order for the book, 6 Cd's and the video. It came in about a week and I tried to watch it. I found myself too busy with work, kids and dinner to watch it. My husband watched it and told me he absolutely loved the video. I finally went to bed and put it in a small DVD player and watched the video. I have been listening to the audio books every day in my car. I recommend it very highly. You see I am doing what God intended. I am helping people by recommending Dr. Dyer's books. He is not paying me. I don't even know if he will let me write this but I love his work and I hope he approves.
My change or Shift as the Dr. mentions I believe happened for me when my daughter Brande Nicole Denson died due to a brain stem injury on April 22, 2009. Brande was born on 11/3/1989 in Texas where her dad and two sisters still live. She has two older sisters who I have been gifted to love for the past 26 years. The oldest having 3 boys and the next getting married in San Antonio in Sept 2010. Brande and her sisters helped me and each other with love and reinforcements in support. Although I was the baby of a herd, I loved babies and kids. Heck I still do. When I married Brande's father I became an instant mom and helper. I helped their father get them to school, to dinner, gymnastics, ballet, tap, jazz, and whatever else they were into at the time. I think the most important thing I have learned so far is that I did help them and they helped me. They helped me realize that I was worth something. I did not feel that growing up and i caused myself a lot of grief because I could not grasp my self worth. I know now that I never had to doubt that I could be loved. I just had to love myself first. First and foremost we have to learn to love ourselves. To give ourselves the time we need to sit back and realize our mission is about help. It must begin with helping the helper. You are in fact that person. You were born to help others and have been doing it all of your life. Even a drug dealer helps others. He does not help them for the right reasons. He helps the weak remain weak by selling them drugs. He is helping suppress their true self, but he is helping. Some parents I know help their children finish their projects, clean their room, do their laundry and much much more. A woman falls into a mothers role and believes this is her purpose. What she is doing is helping her family, but they can also help her by taking on responsibilities and doing things themselves. Helping themselves by helping her.
I have been very blessed to have met a variety of people in my life with different values and ideas of helping others. One woman who walks down my street 4 blocks with groceries to help an elderly lady when she herself is 65-75 years old. I pick her up when I see her and take her to her destination. When i ask her why she is walking she tells me she is taking care of her elderly friend as if she is only 25 years old herself. What an inspiration for me. I can only hope if my earthly body is here as long as hers I will feel 25 years old.
Another friend bought a horse in Arabia and had it shipped here to her daughter. She has a huge home and her kids are fairly spoiled, but they are very kind people and it saddens me when people treat them unkind because of jealousy. I think most women comment on her because they see the way her husband treats her like a princess and they may not get the same treatment at home. Sure, she can be full of herself sometimes, but she always makes it a point to speak and I could call her anytime and ask for her help and she would either be there or send me help.
Regardless of if you are wealthy or penniless, it is what is in your heart that makes you who you are. I tease her about being spoiled and call her my media whore because she is always in the paper but I love her dearly and know she constantly helps people including me.
Another person I admire more than words can say is my mom. she lived her life with a strong sense of chi
Their mission it seemed the older she got was to help her with experiences they thought she should avoid that they learned lessons from. Back to helping through everything we do. We seem to help people or ourselves weather we realize it or not in everything we do.
Fear comes into our lives when we least expect it.
Brande was in an automobile accident on Sunday, April 12th and arrived at the LSU hospital unconscious and remains that way for the past 96 hours.Brande's condition has not made any majors changes from Wednesday. Wednesday, she did move her right arm voluntarily and responded to Sherry's voice with a noticeable increase in blood pressure. She has been cleaned up by her nurses and she looks terrific for her circumstances.Her current status has her resting well under sedation but today they are looking at placing a treach tube and remove the respirator tube so that it is easier to manipulate. Additional, they are looking at her potassium levels which are high. Her pituitary gland is not operating properly and they are working on controlling it with meds until further information is available. They have removed her brain pressure tube but left in the drain to continue the relief of pressure. Also, her sedative medication is being decreased to allow her to wake up on her own but they still have reservation about how she will react to waking up and not knowing where she is and fear that she might struggle during that period. We still want her to remain motionless.We want to thank everyone across the nation for their constant prayers as God has taken over and placed her in his hands for her full recovery. Our friends and family at Kings Highway Christian Church, and South field School have been invaluable in their support and prayer in the helping and healing of our wonderful daughter.Continued update will follow. Current time- 1:00pm Thur., April
Wednesday, April 21,2009
Brande has been taken off of the paralytic and the sedatives to see if she will wake. She has not been responsive so far. I met with her surgeons and there is no way to operate, so we are hoping for a miracle. They went through her MRI and showed me the damage that has been done and the difficulty of the situation. I had to find a hiding place today to pray. I ask God to tell me what to do. Two lovely women were sent to me to tell me to Get into a place and ask for strength and peace, for guidance and direction. I found a lot of peace in this scripture/ Hebrews 11:1-2-3 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. For by it the elders obtained a good testimony. By faith we understand that the worlds, were framed by the word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible.I am comforted to know that Brande is here for a reason bigger than my expectations of her. I just want to thank God first for giving me 19 wonderful years with my girl so far, and thank all of you who have prayers for her, me and my family. My heart is full of gratefulness for the love and support I receive each day. Please know without it I would collapse. We are swamped with calls of love each day. Please know today I had to just set my phone aside so please do not feel offended if I do not answer. I do hear your messages and read your text. I also feel your love and kindness each day.love Sherry
Brande Nicole Denson Our Hero
I remember so clearly Brande's 17th birthday. She got out of bed and came into the kitchen where I was doing my daily whatever moms do. I ask her what she wanted to do for her birthday and she replied. I want to go and give blood with you mom. What a great gift to give on someone's birthday. So not about her.... I am so proud of Brande and will have information on the people she has helped by donating her organs. My little girl is quite the hero and i love her. Please keep her recipients in your prayers that they might be healed by Gods loving grace and Brande's giving heart. sherryhttp://www.lopa.org/heroes.html Thank you for your heartfelt concern and all of your love for our daughter.Sherry Denson Sellers
You know what pleases me more than anything is now I realize that no matter what I do I am helping someone. Weather it is giving up a spot in a parking lot or buying lunch. Now I do not mean to say you should buy your family or kids MC whatever s every day. Fast food is just not good for you. It is filled with MSG and other things that will not help you in a good way at all. I am a fairly good mom. I do not allow cola's in my home.
I cannot say what will happen tomorrow but I know what I have learned so far is only a small part of what I have yet to learn. one thing I read today came from an interpretation of the Dow Te Chen
Fill your bowl to the brim
and it will spill.
Keep sharpening your knife
and it will blunt.
Chase after money and security
and your heart will never unclench.
Care about people's approval
and you will be their prisoner.
Do your work, then step back.
The only path to serenity.
So, If I want to become whole,
I must let myself be partial.
If I want to become straight,
I must let myself be crooked.
If I want to become full,
I must let myself be empty.
If I want to be reborn,
I must let myself die.
If I want to be given everything,
I must give everything up.
Not that I should become a bum and live in the streets, but to know that I can live without the things I have coveted has changed my life. I have yet to give more than I have been given and that is my goal. I think when you can give more than you have been given you have given everything. Now, I do not mean giving up my couch or my kids tuition. I mean giving from within. For instance. I was raised into a good home and family. We did not have much but we had each other. I have blocked the teen years when I was abused and molested by people who did not belong in my life and who my family never believed would do such a thing. I searched my heart and let those pains go. I know what good things have come to me in my life. I always knew they would. I have had big homes, dogs, cats, kids, cars, money, travel, boats, and more. The only things of those mentioned that ever made me feel good all the time were the dogs, cats, kids and travel. I am not just talking about my kids either. I am talking about the kids I have met through my kids, through my church, and most of all through volunteering my time at the schools and hospitals. If you have ever volunteered for a children s hospital and met a parent who could not get a moment away until you arrived you would know exactly what I mean. Help is only possible if we realize that we can and should apply it to every content of our being.
What happend to me this morning was just a small gesture, but it helped a lady feel better who obviously forgot my name at a place I frequent. Now some people would get mad and feel shunned if they are forgotten, but I have learned to look for a smile. I know her name very well and when she came for me to sign the check for breakfast she could not read my scribble and had to ask my first name. I told her and as she began to apologize I piped up and stopped her. I simply put it. I would rather see you smile at me when I come in without knowing my name than know my name and frown when I show up. She smiled at me and agreed and I think it made both of us feel better. You see, letting someone know you are no higher or lower in status from them makes you feel good whether waiting tables or sitting in a corporate chair.
More words translated from the toa DE Chang
weather going up the ladder
or down the ladder
the journey is shaky
but with both feet planted
on the ground you are steady.
I find that concentrating on positive affirmation and good works makes me feel much better than being saddened by life or the things I hear about or encounter each day. When Easter came this year I did not want to be home. I did not want to touch the empty chair my child would normally occupy on Easter Sunday. I did not want to think about the blueberry pancakes we had last Easter for breakfast, or that it was the last breakfast we would ever share. Instead I went to a hotel and forced the rest of my family to have dinner in a Mexican restaurant and an Easter egg hunt for my boys in the hotel room. I know how much fun we have had in the past and I need to focus on this, but what an eye opener when you look back and see how selfish you can be sometimes. I know a lot of people will tell me I am not being selfish, but I am. When I want to pout that is being selfish in my book. I should be celebrating her chance to help others and focus on that. Focus on helping my family have a wonderful holdiay with their mother instead of thinking of my own feelings and making them sleep in hotels and eat in restaurants on Easter. It was pretty good food though. I must admit everyone seemed to be happy with the fair. Weather it was saving face for me or that they were truly okay, I feel that my selfishness created my sadness and I have to work on that.
Sometimes when we think we have it all figured out! How many times have we heard or said that one. Or, here's a good one. If I only knew then what I know now. That is something you hear yourself repeating when you become your parents age and your kids become you. Wow. How trusting we are of God and our parents until we begin to experience the intelligence we mistake for responsibility. We think we know it all and somehow we cannot keep promises, dates, term paper schedules, or much of anything having to do with being responsible. Those are the teen years into college. They are what they called the best days of our lives in a song.
I called a friend for coffee but she is always running a little behind in the am. We talked for a moment and it turned into 20. Have you ever done that? If you are female the common answer will be yes. She laid her heart on me about a child who is what she felt was picking on her child who is very meek, which more than not people concider a weakness. After listening to what this child is doing falling down and crying if her son will not play with him, then being abusive by words and action when he gives in. I told her It sounds to me like manipulation. This child has learned to get attention by manipulating people which probably includes his parents. The she told me about a dream she had with children being manipulated by adults. Now I do not know if the dream was telling her something or not, but I think believing what you learn and holding fast to the positive affirmation of things is best. I once heard someone say that a bad man is a good mans job and a good man is a bad mans teacher. It makes complete sense to me. I try to be a light for those I encounter and as God shine for all to see.
In the bible it tells us we are made of God, we are to be God Like, so when you ask where are you God? conciser this, Where is he not?.
My question for you today is this. When you feel compelled to do something what do you end up doing. So many times I have felt like there is something I needed to do and I did not do it. I refrained from it for one reason or another. I do not always know why, but mostly out of fear. I know that there have been so many times in my life when I worried about doing something because it either would not work out in my head, my heart or it would be embarrassing if it failed or was not accepted. I can honestly say that today I follow those urges, instincts, drives, or whatever you want to call them. I have felt so good since I started. Things just seem to work out when you know in your heart and soul that it is something you need to follow. You will know too. You have the capability of many things you do not realize you have inside you.
I for instance could have never written a book in the 80's. So, I say. I use the excuse of spell check. Being dyslexic I felt it necessary to use excuses when I had trouble overcoming something. I now understand that I could have written a book in the 80's. I could do anything then that I can do now. I just did not realize what was inside of me. When you see a kid like Tiger Woods who start playing with passion at three or four years old you realize that they have desire and they are doing what they love. When you see a woman who is raising a family with love in her heart and happiness in her eyes you know she is doing what she loves.
